One More Time!

WHAT SONG do you think these cats are singing?

I Am Man, Hear Me Roar

"I got something called the man rules today and thought you might get a kick out of reading them."

You got what? My wife had caught my attention. The Man Rules? What the heck are those? She handed me a list and there at the top of the page were the words "The Man Rules". After reading a few, I realized that sharing these with you might make a fun post. See, we men always hear about "the rules" from women, but nobody has ever taken the time to write down rules from a guys point of view. Until now. So, with that in mind, I present to you...the man rules.

Please note... the rules are all numbered "1" on purpose. I will list a rule and give you my thoughts after.

1. Ladies, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
NWD - Look, we love you gals, but since when did women become the overlords of the toilet seat? You don't hear us whining about you leaving it down. We need it up, you need it down. It's not our fault you don't look before you sit. Next time, just take a moment to look down. You might keep yourself from falling in.

1. Watching sports is like the full moon rising or the changing of the tides. Face it, it's gonna happen, so just let it be.
NWD - If we loved to watch sports before we met you, there's a good chance we're still gonna love to watch sports after we've met you. Maybe you could learn the game and watch with us? Guys love girls who love sports as much as we do.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.
NWD - What would make you think that during the game or my favorite show is the best time to talk to me? Men get told all the time they can't multitask. So if we're watching the boob tube AND listening to you, don't get mad when we don't hear what you just said.

1. Ask for what you want! Let's be clear on this one. Subtle hint, strong hints, or even obvious hints DO NOT WORK! Just say it!
NWD - You're no longer a toddler. They learn how to use their words and ask when they want something, so can you.

1. If you think something makes you look fat, it probably does. 
NWD - Don't ask us loaded questions like "Does this make me look fat?". There is no way humanly possible for us to give you the "right" answer. If we say yes, we're in trouble. If we say no, we're in trouble.. I think questions like these were designed by women to get us guys into trouble. Then you can use this to your advantage... say to buy more clothes?

These are just a few of the "man rules" that I felt like sharing today. I'd share more, but I have things to do. And since I can only do one thing at a time...